About ‘Energy Vampires’ - Here’s Why Negative Friends Might Help for You

Personally crave advice from those on dealing with life’s midpoint hurdles, including deep inner questions, fading relevance, noticing one’s neck resembling a melted timepiece and a newfound passion about property shows. Most recently, I discovered his remarks on turning 50 in an interview: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”

At first, I pondered: isn’t there a tension between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. Although in our community we actually prefer the expression “energy vampire”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. That level of honest feedback is rare among “upbeat” individuals.