Mastering the Art of Talk Dating Like a Generation Z: Fifty-One Ultra-Specific Terms for Romance, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

This period marks a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the mainstream. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the words gen Z is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {